Sometimes I just don't know... when to drink apple juice instead of orange juice.

As I look down into my bowl of Frosted Mini-Wheats and orange juice, or Grandma juice as I like to call it. I realize this is my comfort zone. When I was a little girl I always used to go to my grandma's, when I was there grandma always use to have Orange Juice for me, that is why I call it Grandma juice. I never wanted any other drink other than Grandma juice, I would not even consider apple juice. No way! Apple juice is not what brings me comfort, its orange juice(insert determined look)!

Three weeks or so ago I felt like God was telling me to spend a night in prayer for the students in our youth ministry. This was WAY out of my comfort zone. For me prayer was something we said before and after church, at meals, and to start or end our day. Maybe a half hour a day, or an hour tops. A whole night? How am I going to find something to pray about all night!!! No way am I going to do that!!!

At first I just ignored the feeling, but then the feeling got stronger and stronger until I could not resist it anymore. Then I took a step out of my box and spent a whole night at the church praying for our youth, praying for revival, praying for our leaders, and praying for our pastors. During this night God was revealing specific things to pray for each student.

I was on the phone with a parent today when they told me a couple weeks ago their child revealed something to them; a major change in their life. A change for the better. The exact same thing I had been praying for this student the night at the church. What?!?

Then last night I was able to speak at our youth service, I preached on the lost son, as told in Luke 15. I ended the service with a opportunity to pray the sinners prayer. After service I asked the students who prayed the prayer with me to raise their hands, 8 students raised their hands! What?!?!? Yes, 8 students!

I was so nervous to preach a salvation message. I was way nervous to spend a night in prayer. They were both way out of my comfort zone! But when I saw those 8 hands in the air, and heard the story of the life change in my student it made the step out of my comfort zone worth it.

This past month has made me realize maybe the taste of apple juice instead of orange juice might just be better. Not only for me, but those around me. So today I encourage you with this; next time you feel God calling you to step out of your comfort zone, DO IT! It could be the sweetest apple juice you have ever tasted.

Sometimes I just Don't know...

when to stop.

Only being 21 I have not been out of high school for very long. When I first got offered the position as High School Ministry director I was scared to say yes because I was so young, I thought that none of the high school students would listen to me, or want to hang out with me. I was wrong I am always getting texts from my students, I love it!!! I love the relationships I am building with them.

I love my job. As a youth worker I get paid to hang out with teenagers all the time. I mean how cool is it to get paid for something you love to do? The only down side is sometimes the line between where ministry ends and where my personal life begins become a little blurry.

As our youth is growing I have  started to realize that I am not going to have time to give to every student. Between working with the FBI (Fabulous Bible Interns), youth, and being a nanny I hardly ever have "me time". This brings me to the question: Is "me time" really all that important?

In Mark chapter 6 Jesus told his disciples "Come away by yourselves, and we will go to a lonely place to get some rest" (Mark 6:31 NCV). Jesus knew the importance of resting, taking time to recharge his batteries, how much more do we actually need this time if Jesus, the King of Kings needed it? 

For me it is just realizing that taking time to invest in myself is not selfish. The only problem is, I don't know what to do with my free time...

I have spent so much of my time giving to others that I don't remember what I enjoy doing. My challenge for you is not to let this happen to you, don't give so much of yourself that you forget who you are. I think I might start by trying yoga, taking up painting, maybe go for a walk, just taking time to remember who I am. God took an entire day for himself (Genesis 2:2) I don't think he will mind if we take an hour or two for ourselves, actually he commands us to take an entire day of rest. Remember to rest and not fall into our modern american culture. :)

Sometimes I just don't know...the answer.

Their are days in my life when I have questions, well almost everyday, but their are days I just don't know who to ask these questions to. Sometimes they are simple questions with simple answers. Like "How do I make a cheese cake?"or "Would you like fries with that?"  Then their are those questions I just have to chew on for a wile.

When we do have simple questions sometimes we are afraid to ask them. We are scared that people will judges us for not knowing. We are scared of being labeled as stupid. Therefor we never find the answer.

When people come to me with a question that I don't know the answer to, more often then not, it is a simple question. When these moments happen my head starts to fill with more doubts and more questions. Why God? Why did you choose me? Is't their someone more qualified? Someone who knows more? I start to feel unworthy of the position I hold.

Then the story of Ester comes to mind. A young lady, probably not much older then myself, was chosen as Queen, was chosen by God to save her people.  I cant help but think that she also faced doubts about her position. The line Mordecai said to her when she was hesitant to go before the king stands out to me "...And Who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?" (Ester 5:14). 

He was reminding her that she had a reason for being where she was. That maybe this was Gods plan for putting her there. I see value in what he had to say. I don't know the plans for my future, I don't know why I am here on earth. I do however know God has put me where I am for a reason, to build relationships and to shine his light in all I do. We all have a reason for being where we are.

We will always have questions that we will not know the answer to. As long as we don't give up, as long as we never stop seeking out the answer, and realize that it is okay to say that we don't know, we will be alright. But ultimately we need to remember to seek the one who knows the answer to all our hardest questions.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." (Proverbs 3:5-6).