It's More Then Just A Season

If you know me at all you know that I LOVE Christmas!!! Some would say I even have OCD (Obsessive Christmas Disorder).

I love anything to do with the Christmas season; snow, warm mittens, Christmas movies, Christmas lights, eggnog latte', picking a Christmas tree.... The list could go on for pages.

I love Christmas so much that in July my sister's and I have a day where we decorate and watch Christmas movies, for a full day!

But what is it about Christmas that I love SOOO much. Why do I have OCD?

It's not the gifts, it's not the snow, it's not the music, although I did start listening to Christmas music at the beginning of this month. ;) It's the warm fuzzies I get whenever I think about Christmas. It's the feeling of happiness. I think Dr. Seuss explained this best:

“Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before! What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. What if Christmas...perhaps...means a little bit more!”

I get the warm fuzzies because when I hear songs like "peace on earth good will to men" I think of a baby. When I see Christmas lights on houses late at night, I think of the light of the world. When I look to the top of our tree and see the picture of Jesus we place there, I can't help but be overwhelmed with joy. 

I know what that something more is that the Grinch saw, I think of Jesus.  I think of my family sitting around the tree every Christmas reading the story of the birth of Jesus. I think of the baby who was born and put in a manger, who grew up and died on a cross for my sins, for your sins. I think of a man who was willing to die so I could spend eternity in heaven. It's more than the decorations, the presents or the songs for me.

So when I start listening to Christmas music in October, it's not because I want to skip to Christmas day. It's because I can't wait to reflect on what Jesus did for me. I want to remember and feel the warm fuzzies everyday! Because Christmas is more than a season, it is a feeling. 

Stop And Listen

As I mentioned in my last post, I started school about a month ago and am loving every minute of it. In one of my classes this week we had an assignment to improve our listening.We had to take three minutes a day to sit in absolute quiet in an attempt to allow our hearing to reset. This was harder to do than I thought! On the first day the 3 minutes felt like 30! I kept looking at my timer every ten seconds. It was a little better for day two, and day 3, and by day 4 I was starting to really enjoy this time of quiet.

On day 5 of enjoying this quiet time I had a thought... how often do I get silent and quiet before God, to set my heart? How often do I take time to just be silent and listen to God's voice? The answer was not as often as I had liked. On the surface I thought I had been doing a great job of spending time with Jesus, until I realized that my time with God was one sided. It consisted of me talking to God or reading my Bible. I never really took the time to just listen to God's voice.

Psalm 62:5 says "Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him." If my soul finds rest in Him, and I am not taking the time to listen to Him, then how am I really resting? How can I truly walk away from my time with Jesus filled with Hope, peace and, love without hearing from Good?

The truth is I can't... and neither can you. 

Without the silent time to hear from God all we have is a monologue, a self focused time talking to God.  Now hear what I am saying. I am not saying prayer and Bible reading are selfish things. I am saying without Gods voice we will never be refreshed.

So here is my challenge to you, and myself, to take 3 minutes a day to just listen for God's voice. It may feel like the first 3 minutes of waiting is really 30, but trust me as we pursue this, day after day, we will want to extend our time listening for God's voice even longer

Sista-Sistas

Krystal, Heather, Me, Taylor
Photo Credit: Werner Portrats

I just started a new journey in my life. Yesterday I started a Church Partnership Program(CPP) through a church in Olympia. This program allows me to take university classes at a blessed price while working towards my degree in ministry. I love the program, so far. The only down side is that it is held at the church my sister works and attends. Don't get me wrong I love the church and the people, but all day I was introduced as Heathers' sister, and now, that's what I am known as here.

This got me thinking, I will always be someone's sister. Unless I go to a new place where none of my family has gone, which in the small a town we live in is very unlikely. I even run into this problem dropping my brothers off at daycare, where my other sister works. I am known as Ms.Taylor's sister to all the kids.

The more I thought about it the more I started to wonder how else people saw me; Glenda's daughter, Lynn's daughter, Michael's big sister, Arv's grand daughter.... The list goes on. The ultimate question I thought about was do they see me as a daughter of the king?

1 John 3:1-2 says:
"How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known." 

God has chosen us and called us all his children. Even though the world does not know Him do they see something different in my actions that shows I am different. Part of a different family? Do they see it in you?

Do I live in a way that people can see and say "Oh that,s Kolbey, God's daughter"?  As people will always see me as Heather's sister, will they always see me as God's daughter?

Trusting Gods Timing

I hate keeping track of time! I am horrible at it! I have tried wall calendars, iCal, pocket books, everything, but I can't seem to get a handle on how to manage my time right.

Seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years, decades... It seems like everything we do now is measured by time. The amount of time we have to spend on something contributes to whether or not we will do it. Somone or something is always wanting some of our most abundant commodity, our time.

On the other hand time helps us plan how we are going to live our lives. It helps us plan for our future. Without time, without deadlines, things would never get finished. But what if you have to quit or give up before your time is up...

What if God calls you to move on or do something new  before you feel like you have had enough time to complete your task?

Whenever I think of timing, Gods timing, I think of the story of Abraham and his son Isaac.
Now Abraham had a wife named Sarah who was having trouble conceiving a child. Then one day God promised her she would have a son, and so he blessed them with Isaac.

Now after Isaac was grown God asked Abraham to do something CRAZY! He asked Abraham to take Isaac up a mountain sacrifice his only son.

So out of obediance Abraham did as God asked. He went up the mountain, got the alter ready, laid his son out before God and at the last second God told him to STOP!

God stopped Abraham just in time.... His time.

What would have happend if Abraham had not trusted in Gods timing? We could go into all the what ifs, but it would not do us any good. Gods timing is perfect because He is aware of every detail of our lives.

So, when we wish we could have had more time to do something, to know someone, to finish our task, and God says GO, or we wish for an immediate change in our lives or circumstances and God says WAIT, not now. We need to trust that God has the right timing for us. Because, at the end of our lives, at the end of the day,  the only thing we really have to give, and be remembered by is our time.

Lessons I Learned From Serving In Ministry

I have just wrapped up my first year working in ministry. It was quite the adventure and I have walked away with many lessons that will stick with me throughout my life.

The truth is I have never really thought about what life in ministry would look like before. I had always come to church, enjoyed the service, went home and came back the next week. Never really stopping to think about what went into the planning of the service, or the ins and outs of the life in ministry, or the daily tasks of serving. I think this is true for many of us.

Some lessons I have learned this year were harder to listen to than others. So today I want to share a few of the lessons I learned with you. 

1) Ministry Is An Event Planning Business

I recently heard it said that a church is an event planning business. At first I did not agree that this was true. I was kind of offended at first, but the more I thought about it, and watched those around me the more I started to agree. Each week is spent planning and anticipating the coming Sunday, the event. The pastor plans his sermon, the worship leader plans and practices their music, teachers prepare for their Sunday school lessons, people are lined up to make the coffee, serve the doughnuts and greet at the door. All this and more is in hopes that the big day, Sunday, goes well.

We want people to want to come back. We want them to feel welcome, to feel safe, and feel they can let down their walls. To get people to feel that way takes planning. It does not just happen.

2) More Ministry Happens Outside The Office Than In

Yes we do have office hours, just like any other business does, but unlike other businesses we are called upon more outside the office than in. Everyone takes some of their work home with them, but not all of them take their work with them 24/7. We do.

Whether it be preparing a sermon, praying for someone, making a house call, a text at 10:00 at night because a kid has run away, someone forgot their book at church and wants you to come let them in to get it...The list of things goes on. Ministry is a 24/7 job. It extends way beyond our office hours.

3) The Staff Have Lives Outside Of the Church Walls

This may sound a lot like number two but trust me it's different. ;)

This was hard for me to realize at first.  The first few months I started working in youth, I poured everything I had into growing my ministry. I was at the church 8hr days and then when I went home I would still work on things for the church.

I remember when my cousin came to visit, and I was too "busy" to hang out with him. He asked me a simple question that has stuck with me, he asked, "Why are you doing all this now?" Truth was I could not answer him. Everything I was working on could wait till tomorrow at the office. I didn't have to do it right then. It was not time sensitive.

I had never really thought about the fact that I needed to balance ministry with my personal life. That it was not all or nothing, that I needed to set aside time to be with my family and friends. All pastors do, or need to do the same thing. I didn't realize that if a student text and wanted to hang out or wanted to text me that it was okay for me to tell them that I was spending time with family and would get back to them as soon as I could.

I used to look at pastors, or people who serve in ministry, and think that it was their job to serve me and that I deserve access to them any time I need...NOT TRUE. They too deserve to have lives outside the church.

4) Relationships With People Are The MOST Important 

I used to think the tasks of ministry were the number one priority of working in ministry. Man was I wrong!!! Building a relationship with people in our church, or community, that is the most important, that is what I am called to do. Not check things off my todo list so I can go home. Jesus did not come to do tasks. He came to build relationships with people, to show them the way to truth. A person does not take the advice of a stranger, they take the advice of a friend. The same is true in ministry. 

5) I Am Not Qualified For My Position

There is a saying "God does not call the qualified, He qualifies the called" and BOY IS THIS TRUE. No matter the task in-front of me there is always someone better to do my job. Whether it be talking to a student about their home lives, designing a flyer for an event or preaching a sermon, their is always someone more qualified to do my job than me. Realizing that the person next to me may be better at this than I am, causes a lot of self doubt. 

Truth is I am not qualified to do this job. That is what keeps me turning to God and His strengths. God did not call the person next to me to do what I do, He called me and I intend to continue to serve Him for many more years and I am sure learn many more lessons.

Sometime I just don't say thank you

1 Thessalonians 5:18

Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

I think it is safe to say that 22 has not been a good year for me. My birthday was in May and I was very excited to start a new chapter in my life with new adventures. It started out good. My parent's and one of my older sisters had bought me an iPad. I was loving it! It was making my job a whole lot easier.

Part of my job is to create and manage the visual art and media here at my church. I had just begun to do this regularly when my computer had gotten stolen out of my car. Not even a full week later I went to let the dog out before I took my sister to take her college placement test. As I was standing on the patio waiting for the dog I remembered that I needed to download a book that the pastor had sent me, so I had something to do when I was waiting. I opened the case and... the iPad came flying out onto the ground. The screen was shattered.

As you can imagine I was rather bummed. My computer had been stolen, and now my iPad was broke. My only other source to do my graphic designs on. So I get in the car a little upset because of this. I pull into a parking spot at the HS to wait for my sister. About ten minutes later she text me and says she is on her way out. I respond with an "OK" and go to set my phone back in the passenger seat.

As I reach across the center console my phone comes flying out of the case and lands right in my full glass of ice tea. I quickly pull it out and dry it off. It was barley still useable. Now I was VERY upset. I was fuming.

My sister gets into the car and seeing I am upset asks "What's wrong?" I quickly respond with a quick "What isn't going wrong." As I put the key into the ignition I was not in a place where I could really explain to her what all was going wrong. Until... I go to turn the key...the car won't start!!!!

This is when all the word vomit and the tears started to flow. I was so upset. One thing after another was going wrong.... Why? Why is this happening to me? What have I done to deserve this?

As I franticly started calling people, on my phone that was barely working, I got one voice mail after another. But one of my good friends answered her phone, I told her what was going on and how one bad thing after another was happening. This is when she asked me one simple question "What are you thankful for?"

Of course at that moment in time the only thought that could come to my mind was " I am thankful for chocolate." To this my friend responded with a chuckle. I am not very good in stressful situations I tend to make jokes to lighten the mood. In doing that in this moment I had overlooked a huge blessing. A chance to look at the good things in my life.

I am very grateful for all the things in my life, friends, family, a warm house, food on the table. But at this moment I was not looking at the good in my life. I once heard a statistic that if you go stay at a hotel or on vacation somewhere, if you have a bad time you will most likely tell ten people all that was bad, but if you have a good time you are only likely to tell one person maybe two.

I think it is the same way with the things in our life. When the bad times come and things aren't going our way that is all we can talk and think about. But when the good times come, no one hears about them.

The good news, eventually my sister's friend was able to come and get my car started again and my iPad got the screen replaced. I never did get my computer back, but that's okay because I learned a very valuable lesson: To be thankful for what I do haveSo today I want to challenge you to take a minute, think about the things in your life and thank God for what you have been given.

Don't know which season I like best

Sometimes I just don't know...

which season I like best.

As a girl growing up in Western Washington I have learned to be prepared for any weather. For example the weather yesterday and today. Yesterday we had temperatures close to 100* and when I woke this morning it was 60* and raining. Now the temperature is back up to, at least, 75*.

Although, I am always looking forward to the next season. During Summer I am always looking forward to the Fall. The windy rainy stormy days, the brown leaves floating in the breeze, the pumpkin spice lattes. But, when fall finally roles around I can't wait for Winter.  Waking up to the surprise of a light dusting of snow, the festival of lights, New Years celebrations... The cycle goes on.

The only bad thing is that i never take the time to slow down and enjoy the season I am currently in. Rather than laying in the sun reading a book, I am inside thinking about trying to create my own Pumpkin spice. Rather than going out and jumping in a pile of leaves, I am doing online Christmas shopping. Not taking the time to stop and enjoy what is around me.

I think this is how it can be in our walks with Christ too.  We can't wait to see what God has next for us that we don't pay much attention to the things he has placed around us now. Like it says in Ecclesiastes 3 "For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under the heaven.." So today let's take some time to slow down and enjoy the season of life God has placed us in.

Sometimes I just... Get so sick of it!!!

Today I am going to take a break from talking about what I don't know, which is a lot, and talk about something that has been bugging me.

Something that has been on my heart a lot recently is the heart of worship. About a month ago the youth took a trip to a local conference. It was amazing to see students pouring their heart's out to God during the worship segment. Student's raising their hands, crying, singing at the top of their lungs to their creator.

Their was a song that was popular when I was younger called The Heart of Worship. There is a line that says "I'm coming back to the heart of worship where it's all about You, it's all about You Jesus. I'm sorry Lord for the thing I've made it when it's all about You, it's all about You Jesus."  At this conference these student's understood that. 

The worship at our church has been amazing the last couple of months. People are finally starting to break out of the empty word reading and enter in to God's presence. It has been amazing to watch! But the enemy is not happy with the heart of worship going on and he is on the attack! 

He wants to see our worship stop. He is looking for any reason he can to disrupt us. But I am not going to stand it! I am no longer holding back from the heart of worship! I am going to worship with all I have to the One who gave all He had!
Psalm 62:4 is my prayer "I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands."That no matter what happens in my life, no matter where I go, I will always praise the God who was, who is, and is to come! 

So today I challenge you to take some time to worship with all you are, to hold nothing back from the One who created you.

Sometimes I just...don't realize how lucky I am.

When I was in Elementary School one of my favorite days of the week was called "lucky dot day." Lucky Dot day was after you dumped your leftover food at lunch if there was a dot on the bottom of your tray you got a prize. The one time I got a dot was so cool, I got to go get ice-cream!!! With any toppings I wanted to have on it.

Before you go any further into my blog I want to warn you this blog today is kind of gruesome so just be aware.

Last friday was a very serious day for many believers. It was the day Jesus died. In preparing for Easter last sunday I went back and re-read the accounts leading up to Jesus' death. First Jesus was betrayed by one of his close friends for money, then he got taken before a crowd of people to have a chance to be set free, but they chose a criminal over him.

Then he was flogged he was sentenced to 39 lashes, the most jewish law would allow. The only thing is the whip they used for these lashes was not an ordinary whip.  It had pieces of bone and metal and other sharp fragments in it so when it hit their skin it would rip their flesh.

After this he was handed over to the soldiers who mocked and beat him even more. They acknowledged he was a king they even gave him a crown. The only thing was this was not a normal crown of gold and jewels. It was a crown made of thorns, digging into his scalp.

I can not even imagine the pain he was in at this point. The physical and emotional pain of taking this all, knowing he was an innocent man. But it did not end there...

He was then led to Golgotha to be crucified. The process of crucifixion was in its self a method of torture. It usually took the victims 2-3 days to die, the process of death usually dying of thirst, exhaustion, exposure and suffocation. The only way to breathe on the cross was to push up and take a breath... If they got to weak to lift up to take a breath they would not be able to live much longer.

After a while soldiers would go around and break the legs of men that were still alive, when it got to this point Jesus was already dead to fulfill an earlier prophesy about no bone in his body being broken. So to make sure he was dead they pierced his side with a spear. When they did this blood and water came pouring out. The only way for this to happen is for the heart to explode.

Jesus died of a broken heart...

Jesus was dead, all hope was lost the man that was supposed to save the jews now hung on a tree dead.

But the story does not end there...

Jesus rose again!!! He is alive, He reigns! After Jesus was resurrected he appeared to many of , John 20:24-26 says:Now Thomas (also known as Didymus[a]), one of the Twelve, was not with the disciples when Jesus came.  So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord!”But he said to them, “Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.A week later his disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you!” Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.”

his disciples but one would not believe the story unless he saw it himself

Thomas saw the marks on Jesus the spots from the nails. He saw his “Lucky Dot.” Jesus rose from the dead he gave us the ultimate prize on our "Lucky Dot Day" 

"For since death came through a man, the resurrection of the dead comes also through a man. For as in Adam all die, so in Christ all will be made alive."(1 corinthians 15:21-22)

Sometimes I don't know... when to unplug.

Here is a cool fact about me, my grandpa grew up Amish. I can hear you now "Amish? What is Amish? Are those the crazy people who don't have electricity?"  Yes. They do not have electricity running to their house, as well as running water, and many other modern conveniences. Are they crazy, I don't think so.

The Amish live a very simple life, relying on the things that were created by God and not man. I remember as a young child going to visit the farm where my grandpa, Poppy as we called him, grew up. I loved being there. Surrounded by the simple, no one was on their phone, no one was on their ipad, no one was on their computer. They were connecting to people face to face, making lasting relationships.

In a way this is a genius idea. I mean, really, how often do we ever unplug from the world and plug into God? Several times in the new testament it tells us that Jesus went off on his own to pray and seek his Father. In the age of the internet on cell phones how often do we choose to read our Bible over Facebook, or Prayer over Pinterest?  I often find myself getting lost in pinterest for hours. Time I could instead be seeking God.

A few weeks ago I was talking with the pastor and a few interns here at my church. We were talking about what our priorities are. Without a doubt I said my first priority was God. As the conversation continued we listed how we spent our time in correlation to our priorities. My list of priorities and how I spent my time did not line up. So was my first priority really God?

About four or five days ago I tried a small experiment; I deleted the pinterest app off my phone to see how I could do without it. I did OKAY, but I still found myself doing other tasks on my phone. The only way to get away from it was to turn off my phone for awhile.

So this week I challenge you, with the same thing I am challenging myself with, unplug from the world and plug into God. Spend time making a lasting connection, face to face, to something or someone that truly matters to you.

Sometimes I Just Don't Know...When To PARTY

One of the parables Jesus told His disciples has been on my mind a lot recently. It is found in Luke chapter 15. It is the parable of The Lost Son. It is a story about a boy who asks his father for his inheritance early, goes and wastes it all, then comes back to his father and is forgiven. I never really use to pay attention to  this story before. I always used to shrug it off thinking "This does not apply to me, I have been a Christian my whole life, I have never been 'lost'"

I always use to see myself as the other brother in this story, the older brother who stayed home and kept working. I would always observe new believers from the sidelines, I would never celebrate their return to Christ. Until recently, I was reading this chapter and the story just before this about the woman who loses her coin caught my attention.

The Parable of The Lost Coin is about how a woman, when she lost her money, searched for it then rejoiced when she found it. At the end of this Jesus says: " “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.” (Luke 15:10). 

This is when I realized that there is a party in heaven every time someone returns to God. 

Then why am I so reluctant to party for them too? Because "...All these years I have been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders..." (Luke 15:29). This was when I had a "duh" moment. I was bitter. I did not realize that there WAS a party for me too. 

The day I accepted Christ, the day I returned home there was a party for me. When I was 17 at winter camp and recommitted my life to Christ there was a party for me! 

And there was a party for you too! Or maybe there is a party waiting to be thrown for you.

So I encourage you to join with me in not accepting the "older brother" mentality. Let's join with the Heaven's and PARTY when the lost come to know Christ. Because, after all, we too were once lost.

Sometimes I just don't know... when to drink apple juice instead of orange juice.

As I look down into my bowl of Frosted Mini-Wheats and orange juice, or Grandma juice as I like to call it. I realize this is my comfort zone. When I was a little girl I always used to go to my grandma's, when I was there grandma always use to have Orange Juice for me, that is why I call it Grandma juice. I never wanted any other drink other than Grandma juice, I would not even consider apple juice. No way! Apple juice is not what brings me comfort, its orange juice(insert determined look)!

Three weeks or so ago I felt like God was telling me to spend a night in prayer for the students in our youth ministry. This was WAY out of my comfort zone. For me prayer was something we said before and after church, at meals, and to start or end our day. Maybe a half hour a day, or an hour tops. A whole night? How am I going to find something to pray about all night!!! No way am I going to do that!!!

At first I just ignored the feeling, but then the feeling got stronger and stronger until I could not resist it anymore. Then I took a step out of my box and spent a whole night at the church praying for our youth, praying for revival, praying for our leaders, and praying for our pastors. During this night God was revealing specific things to pray for each student.

I was on the phone with a parent today when they told me a couple weeks ago their child revealed something to them; a major change in their life. A change for the better. The exact same thing I had been praying for this student the night at the church. What?!?

Then last night I was able to speak at our youth service, I preached on the lost son, as told in Luke 15. I ended the service with a opportunity to pray the sinners prayer. After service I asked the students who prayed the prayer with me to raise their hands, 8 students raised their hands! What?!?!? Yes, 8 students!

I was so nervous to preach a salvation message. I was way nervous to spend a night in prayer. They were both way out of my comfort zone! But when I saw those 8 hands in the air, and heard the story of the life change in my student it made the step out of my comfort zone worth it.

This past month has made me realize maybe the taste of apple juice instead of orange juice might just be better. Not only for me, but those around me. So today I encourage you with this; next time you feel God calling you to step out of your comfort zone, DO IT! It could be the sweetest apple juice you have ever tasted.

Sometimes I just Don't know...

when to stop.

Only being 21 I have not been out of high school for very long. When I first got offered the position as High School Ministry director I was scared to say yes because I was so young, I thought that none of the high school students would listen to me, or want to hang out with me. I was wrong I am always getting texts from my students, I love it!!! I love the relationships I am building with them.

I love my job. As a youth worker I get paid to hang out with teenagers all the time. I mean how cool is it to get paid for something you love to do? The only down side is sometimes the line between where ministry ends and where my personal life begins become a little blurry.

As our youth is growing I have  started to realize that I am not going to have time to give to every student. Between working with the FBI (Fabulous Bible Interns), youth, and being a nanny I hardly ever have "me time". This brings me to the question: Is "me time" really all that important?

In Mark chapter 6 Jesus told his disciples "Come away by yourselves, and we will go to a lonely place to get some rest" (Mark 6:31 NCV). Jesus knew the importance of resting, taking time to recharge his batteries, how much more do we actually need this time if Jesus, the King of Kings needed it? 

For me it is just realizing that taking time to invest in myself is not selfish. The only problem is, I don't know what to do with my free time...

I have spent so much of my time giving to others that I don't remember what I enjoy doing. My challenge for you is not to let this happen to you, don't give so much of yourself that you forget who you are. I think I might start by trying yoga, taking up painting, maybe go for a walk, just taking time to remember who I am. God took an entire day for himself (Genesis 2:2) I don't think he will mind if we take an hour or two for ourselves, actually he commands us to take an entire day of rest. Remember to rest and not fall into our modern american culture. :)

Sometimes I just don't know...the answer.

Their are days in my life when I have questions, well almost everyday, but their are days I just don't know who to ask these questions to. Sometimes they are simple questions with simple answers. Like "How do I make a cheese cake?"or "Would you like fries with that?"  Then their are those questions I just have to chew on for a wile.

When we do have simple questions sometimes we are afraid to ask them. We are scared that people will judges us for not knowing. We are scared of being labeled as stupid. Therefor we never find the answer.

When people come to me with a question that I don't know the answer to, more often then not, it is a simple question. When these moments happen my head starts to fill with more doubts and more questions. Why God? Why did you choose me? Is't their someone more qualified? Someone who knows more? I start to feel unworthy of the position I hold.

Then the story of Ester comes to mind. A young lady, probably not much older then myself, was chosen as Queen, was chosen by God to save her people.  I cant help but think that she also faced doubts about her position. The line Mordecai said to her when she was hesitant to go before the king stands out to me "...And Who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?" (Ester 5:14). 

He was reminding her that she had a reason for being where she was. That maybe this was Gods plan for putting her there. I see value in what he had to say. I don't know the plans for my future, I don't know why I am here on earth. I do however know God has put me where I am for a reason, to build relationships and to shine his light in all I do. We all have a reason for being where we are.

We will always have questions that we will not know the answer to. As long as we don't give up, as long as we never stop seeking out the answer, and realize that it is okay to say that we don't know, we will be alright. But ultimately we need to remember to seek the one who knows the answer to all our hardest questions.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." (Proverbs 3:5-6).